


And It Burns, Burns, Burns.... The [Wedding] Ring of Fire

by MyWolfIsAnAssbutt



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/M, Idiots in Love, Infidelity, Kimi is an asshole, Kimi is kinda an alcoholic but is getting better, Like... seriously, M/M, Minor Violence, Miscommunication, Sebastian is an asshole too- i guess?, Unprotected Sex, Violent Sex, kimi has a complex about seb's wedding ring, on-off relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyWolfIsAnAssbutt/pseuds/MyWolfIsAnAssbutt
Summary: What do you do when you trapped in a hotel with your ex-boyfriend during a typhoon? Bored and avoiding each other, will you be able to fix your relationship... And will you ever get over your complex about his wedding ring?Kimi was honestly getting to old for this BS....





	And It Burns, Burns, Burns.... The [Wedding] Ring of Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of doing important Uni work, i decided to spend my whole day writing this fic! I'm not too sure if i even like the way i've written it myself, as it's not what i had originally envisioned but i thought i'd post it anyways....
> 
> In this fic, both seb and kimi are kind of assholes who are terrible people to their wives and each other tbh. Textbook cheaters with one of them having an unaddressed alcohol problem. They're pretty on and off but have zero self restraint.... I thought i'd write it because i'd love to know what Simi will be up to tomorrow, locked in that hotel all day...... *(evil laugh*) 
> 
> Enjoy!

Friday evening. The five of them are sitting in a small restaurant not too far from the hotel all the drivers are cooped up in for the weekend. It's nice, very friendly feeling and bustling with people talking in a language that is so unknown to him it sounds alien. They've been sat at a booth in the back of the restaurant, for privacy he supposes, it's dimly lit back here and they can only just make out each others faces.

The booth is circular, Sebastian sits to his left and Charles to his right- they're still barely talking to each other but Kimi's sure they'll work it out, it's only natural that sons and fathers have their moments, he thinks. Besides Charles his own 'student' is sitting, Antonio has naturally been carrying most of the conversation all evening whilst Marcus shyly sits on the outside edge of the booth, nodding only when he's directly asked a question. Kimi thinks its adorable, but totally understandable- here Marcus is the outsider, the ex-F1 driver, sitting diagonally from the old guy who stole his seat.

The waiter takes their drinks orders and since they have the day off tomorrow, Kimi takes it as an opportunity to relax, push the boat out and use alcohol to help him get through the evening. And why shouldn't he have fun whilst being stranded in another continent with the F1 circus. He asks the young kid serving them for a whiskey on the rocks to accompany his beer, biting the inside of his cheek as Seb scoffs and shakes his head besides him.

Sebastian, of course, only orders a sparkling water, Kimi sometimes forgets how he's such a well behaved boy sometimes. Antonio thinks about ordering a beer but it only takes one disapproving look from Seb and he blushes, asking for a coke instead. Marcus, free from any obligations, does indeed order a beer with his dinner. Charles spends the longest time looking over the drinks menu, before asking the waiter for the same as Kimi.

Kimi feels Sebastian freeze besides him and signals the waiter to halt for a moment, before asking for a pitcher of water for the table. When he leaves, Sebastian turns to his teammate sharply and hisses at him, “Just _what _do you think you're_ doing_?!”

Charles' smile falls from his face and the conversation between the 3 youngsters comes to a halt. Kimi can see the monegasque's jaw working a little and a slight pink tinge dust his cheeks. “ Excuse me, _Dad._ I think I can do what I like and I wanted to have a drink, alright?”

The words fly over Kimi's head as he sits between them, trying to hold back a smirk. He wonders if Charles _actually_ wants to have a drink or if he really just wants to defy Seb's ethics and _really_ push his buttons. Kimi likes this defiance in the kid, he really sees a lot of himself in Charles.

“Charles, you have a race on Sunday...” Seb says quietly, adopting a calmer approach, “Did you really need something as hard as whiskey with your dinner?”

Charles rolls his eyes as the entire table still watches the two Ferrari drivers in a rapture, is this what it's like behind doors these days? Kimi looks as Marcus rips little pieces off his napkin and Antonio's gaze is looking at Kimi, silently pleading at him with his eyes, uncomfortable with the confrontation.

“Seb, just chill.” Charles sighs, like they'd been over this a hundred times before. “Plus, how is Kimi allowed to do it and I can't?! I don't see you saying anything to him!”

Sebastian, rightfully, blushes at this comment and Kimi's throat feels very dry all of a sudden. Little did puppy dog eyes, Charles Leclerc know, he'd hit a very sensitive nerve in the history of Sebastian and Kimi. One that had in fact sped up the demise of said relationship.

Uncomfortable Kimi cleared his throat, “Look Charles, Sebastian should have never said anything. But please don't pull me into this.” He turned to Seb, “Just let him do it, it's his choice.”

Charles has the decency to look ashamed and hangs his head, “Sorry Kimi. Didn't mean to-”

Kimi holds up a hand to stop him and smiles, cupping the back of his neck “S'okay kiddo. No harm done.”

Sebastian says nothing to him in return but smiles softly at Charles in apology. The waiter returns with their drinks, takes their food order and soon enough the conversation starts up again between the five of them.

All in all, the evening is very enjoyable for him- which is often difficult considering most of the time he's stuck having dinner with people he couldn't give a fuck about. Of course, the alcohol helps loosen him up and by the time they've eaten, Kimi is on his third beer and nursing his second whiskey. The three youngster have taken a trip to the bathroom ( god knows what they're up to in there, kimi thinks) and Kimi is alone with Sebastian. It's at this point, unable to take the unbearable silence between them, that Sebastian finally succumbs to temptation and orders himself bourbon neat.

Kimi frowns for a moment, “Since when'd you start drinking bourbon?!” He asks him, the looser inhibitions giving him the courage to lean more into Sebastian's personal space than he'd done in a long time. Over his shoulder he can hear the youngsters giggling, returning to the table. They were definitely tipsy by now, as they had their heads together, whispering loudly about the ex-teammates.

Sebastian shrugs, peeling the wet label off one of Kimi's beer bottles. “It's just something I got into in the last year... after I went visiting some of Hanna's family who have a brewery in the states.”

Kimi nods, pursing his lips as his heart stings a little. So during their honeymoon then. He leans away from Sebastian and closer to Charles, who wraps an arm around his broad shoulders and giggles some nonsense into his ear.

Kimi laughs softly with him, not truly listening to what the three younger drivers are saying but rather watching Sebastian as he slides out the booth to go to the bathroom. When the waiter returns with their orders, Kimi asks him for a round of tequila shots for everyone and another beer, chuckling as the youngsters cheer in delight.

By the time they leave the restaurant it's just a little after midnight and already the rain is pissing down, the wind starting to pick up around them. Kimi has to admit that he's pretty drunk by now and he thinks that he may just have a small hangover tomorrow. But, he thinks as he looks at Charles, who's snoring lightly between the arms of Antonio and Marcus, _he's_ going to have a much worse one than me.

Sebastian has called them two taxi's to take them back to the hotel, one for the boys and one for him and Kimi. Kimi smiles softly at him as he once again worries over Charles and the boys, making sure they're going to be ok taking the taxi back and that they're well wrapped up against the elements.

Kimi has a strong urge to reach out and pull Seb back against his chest in a warm hug. He missed him in more ways than he'd thought. Yes, they were 'friends' to the outside world and they were very civil with each other but it wasn't the same as it used to be when they were both so in love with each other that every race weekend they'd barely left their rooms.

When the first taxi arrives, Kimi helps them shove Charles into the back seat with poor Antonio, as Marcus explains to the driver (again) what hotel they're staying at. Under the glass canopy overhanging the restaurant entryway, he and Seb wait for their cab, they don't speak but Kimi is hyper aware of the small space between them. He has the urge again to reach out and touch, especially when Sebastian turns to face him and his face is illuminated by the bright lights and his long lashes are stuck together with water.

He opens his mouth as if to say something, but no sound comes out. Sebastian moves closer to him, as though answering a silent request and the air between them feels charged. He's almost afraid that if he did touch him, he'd get an electric shock.

“I-” Sebastian begins but is cut off by the bright lights of a taxi washing over them and the honk of a car horn.

Spell broken, they laugh softly at each other and get in the cab without another word between them until they reach Sebastian's room at the hotel and Sebastian gestures him to come inside. Sebastian motions to the mini bar, a silent question being asked but Kimi shakes his head, still standing in the doorway, unsure if he's actually allowed to come in.

It's awkward between them, Kimi is certain about this, this is probably the first time they'd been truly alone since Sebastian had told him that he was marrying Hanna. Sebastian sits down in the chair placed in front of the desk and motions for Kimi to sit down on the bed. With a quiet thank you he does so, but he sits with his jacket still on, water dripping into the bed sheets.

“Sorry, could you just take off your-” Seb quietly states, motioning to his wet jacket and Kimi's cheeks burst into flames.

“Oh shit! Yeah, sorry Sebastian.” He mumbles and lets Sebastian take the jacket from him to hang it up in the hallway.

When he gets back another uncomfortable silence falls over them, and Kimi hates at how estranged they have become with each other behind closed doors.

“So tonight was fun...” Kimi starts.

Sebastian nods slowly, and Kimi watches him as he opens the mini bar and get out two miniature vodkas and two glasses. Sebastian pours both of them a drink and then walks down to sit beside him on the bed, offering him the cold class with a silent toast.

“I'm sorry I don't have any ice but a couple drinks won't hurt, right?” Seb smiles at him, clinking their glasses together as he throws most of it back in one. Kimi's shrugs, unsure about his change in opinion but sips on his neat vodka regardless, savouring the cool burn it leaves down his throat.

“Yup.” Sebastian starts, throwing back the rest of his drink , “Can't believe we'll be stuck inside this place for the next 24 hours.”

Kimi hums, watching as Seb lays down besides him and he tries hard not to stare at the small slither of skin that shows when his button down rides up.

Sebastian scoffs, “Is that all you have to say? Really? You usually talk more when you've had a few Kimi.”

His words are sharp and have a double edge to them, Sebastian has a skill in knowing what to say and what to do to make even his pretty emotionless self hurt. He puts down his unfinished vodka on the floor besides him.

“That why you gave me it? To get me to talk?” Kimi asks him, eyes drilling into Sebastian's own cerulean blue ones, they're glassy with the alcohol, yet hard with something- what he didn't know.

Sebastian raises and eyebrow and shrugs, “Dunno- maybe just thought it wouldn't make a difference since you're drinking so much already.”

Kimi's jaw clenches without his permission, as he bites back. “We have the day off tomorrow and this is my first drink in about 2 weeks Sebastian.”

Sebastian puts his hands up in surrender, “Sure... whatever you say Kimi.”

“Fuck you.” He says and gets up, heading towards the door and ignoring when Seb leaps off the bed behind him.

Kimi hates when he gets like this. Spiteful, jealous? If he hated him so much after they broke up then why didn't he just stop this shit cold turkey? Why did he keep coming back for more and letting Kimi fuck him after they'd said they would stop.

He flinches when he feels the warm hand clamp down on his shoulder, pulling his back to face him. Sebastian stares back at him with those wide, puppy dog eyes, y'know the ones he always does when he's done something wrong?

“Sorry, Kimi. I didn't mean it.” Sebastian whispers softly to him, and Kimi lets himself be drawn in again, pressing into the hand that has come up cup his jaw. “I believe you, always. I know you'd never lie to me.”

He can't help but sigh because it was true. Something that they'd never done with each other was lie. No matter how bad it was they'd always been straight with one another.

“I know.” He whispers, eyes closing at the sensation of Sebastian's fingers burning against his skin, leaning in closer until their faces are centimetres apart and their breaths are puffing against each others lips.

Kimi hears Sebastian's breath hitch as he settles his hand on the curve of his hipbone, thumbing at the exposed skin as he leans to brush his lips against Sebastian's own. Kimi actually hears one of them whimper as their lips meet, lightly pressing together. His lips taste just like he remembers them, his are soft and supple, where Kimi's are slightly chapped. It's chaste but it ignites the old flame he holds for Seb deep down in his core that had lain dormant for months.

He's about to wrap his arm around his waist and pull him flush to his body when Sebastian is suddenly gasping and ripping himself out of his hold.

“Get out.” He whispers, and Kimi feels terrible as he sees the flush of anger and humiliation flame across Seb's neck and face. He cannot speak as Sebastian looks at him, eyes swimming with tears as his hands tremble with- anger?

He wants to reach out to him, to hold him close and tell him that it's ok, that he still loves him. But he doesn't, instead he takes his jacket and rushes out without another look at him.

* * *

He lies in bed that night, the wind outside screaming as the typhoon hits the island and he can't sleep.

Sure the wind and rain itself is keeping him awake but also the events from earlier are playing on his mind. He can't get the look of disgust Sebastian gave him out of his mind, its all he sees when he shuts his eyes.

Where did they go wrong, he thinks. Perhaps they should have never crossed that boundary in the first place? Even though Sebastian was his escape from an unhappy marriage and Kimi was a chance for Sebastian to take out his stresses in Kimi. He still remembers the first time they kissed, Sebastian was so shy and unsure of himself, he had only been on the circuit for a year and here was a top driver making moves on him.

They'd gotten into a 'relationship' soon after Sebastian had lost out on a WDC for the first time. It was 2009 and he was reaching great heights whilst Kimi tumbled further and further away from the racing status he'd worked so hard to build for himself over the years. When he was forced to retire, Sebastian was the one who was there for him, to comfort him and hold him in his arms as he cried.

Then once he'd left and returned, they hadn't stopped. They were both amazed at how Hanna had never figured it out, maybe it was the children distracting her. And yes, that made them both feel so guilty, to be those horrible adulterers who cheated behind a pregnant woman's back and Kimi felt even worse when she asked him to be godfather to little Emilie. Of course, he said no.

He turned over to lie onto his back, sighing as the tucked his arms beneath his head and gazed into the blackness- seeing shapes in the darkness.

Perhaps it always came down to the drinking. It was well known that when he was younger he liked to party and to get shit-faced nearly every other weekend. It was normal back then, to get high when you could, smoke like a chimney and to get so drunk that you couldn't stand. He had calmed down a lot over the years and some of the best times he'd had with Seb was when they were both drunk. But after the birth of his first child he became more serious... or maybe he was just more focused on his racing?

He began to hate getting drunk, it messed with his diet. Sebastian hated it even more when he would drink- saying he couldn't control himself and that it worried him. They had a huge fight after he had returned home between Bahrain and Spain in 2012. He had spent the last week on a bender with some of his Finnish friends and the Prince, and Sebastian _hated it._ They yelled at each other and fought like they never had before. Absent mindedly, he brushes his thumb over the small scar Sebastian had left on his face as he punched him hard.

“_This has to stop!” He had cried, trying to fight off Kimi's restraining arms, “You're going to end up killing yourself with this drinking! Don't you care about your career?! Don't you care about me! I get so worried about you and this problem you have with drinking Kimi.... I just don't want the same thing to happen to you like it did your father.”_

_They had both started crying then, Kimi's limbs giving out as he fell into Sebastian's arms. He sometimes got afraid of this too- that he couldn't stop himself drinking... that he too was becoming an alcoholic._

When he met Minttu, it was like a breath of fresh air. He loved her so much and at the same time he wanted to share his love of her with Sebastian. They both got on very well, as did their respective girlfriends. However, when she became pregnant with Robin she made him decide between her and Sebastian.

“_Minttu's pregnant.” He'd said. It was a hot summers evening and they'd been round for a BBQ. Sebastian and him had been trying to teach Emilie how to swim a bit and Kimi had gotten sunburnt. They were in the backyard enjoying the last rays of sunshine with a beer, watching Emilie crawl around, playing with the dog._

_Seb smiled, “Oh, congrat-”_

“_And she knows...” He said, watching the side of Sebastian's face with precaution._

“_What?” Sebastian had asked. Panicked, turning to face him- reaching out to hold him._

_Kimi leaned away from the touch, “She doesn't know it's you,” He began, “But she knows I'm not being faithful to her and she's asked me to choose.”_

_Sebastian moved away as if he'd been burned, “And you're choosing her over me?”_

_He had sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. “ That's not fair Seb. But, she's... It's not fair on her, okay? I'm just so tired of sneaking around, I'm too old for this shit now.”_

_Sebastian snorted, “Fuck you.”_

_He knocked Kimi's hand away as it reached for him, “No seriously fuck. you... I stayed with you all this time- I mean you had no problem sleeping around with me when it was my girlfriend that was pregnant! You're just so fucking selfish Kimi.”_

_"Sebastian please, it's not-”_

_"Don't lie to me.” He glared, eyes piercing his soul. “Don't you dare. Just leave, please.”_

After that they'd ended whatever, official thing they had going on but it didn't stop them from occasionally falling back into it. Old habits die hard. Plus, in the eyes of the press, they were still best of friends. Since they'd broken up, they had slept together a total of 4 times: when Kimi told him he was getting married; twice during the season to let out some tensions built by the failures of '17 &'18 and lastly, when Sebastian told him about his marriage...

The hurt of that day is still fresh in his heart. Even now, tears burn in his eyes as he remembers the things he said to Sebastian and it makes him so so ashamed that he's surprised Seb can still look at him.

_It was the Canadian Grand Prix. Not only had he had a shit race but Sebastian had been robbed of a victory and he felt stupidly mad. It wasn't his concern but Seb needed this win and now because of a stupid penalty it had been taken away from him._

_He was at the hotel bar, on his third or fourth vodka when he felt someone behind him. Groaning, he prayed it wasn't some fan that had snuck in and wanted to have a drink with him..._

“_Can I help yo- Sebastian?” Now that was a surprise, since they didn't really see each other much outside the track any more- except the last time Kimi asked Seb to fuck him._

_Sebastian was just staring at him, not saying a word. “Can I help you?” Kimi asked, looking him up and down._

“_Finish your drink and come see me.” Seb said quickly, handing him a slip of paper with his room number on it._

"_Don't you want a drink?” He'd asked, thinking the German would like something to ease his pain from losing._

_Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Sebastian left the bar to head towards the hotel lobby. Well, that made him feel like shit. Kimi had thought, but finished his drink and went to find Sebastian anyway._

_Once he was inside the room, and fed up with Sebastian's constant pacing, he asked him why he wanted to see him._

_“I have something to tell you.” Sebastian whispered, coming to a halt to stand in front of the Finn._

_Shit, what's he done now? Kimi thought._

_"I'm getting married to Hanna... in a couple of weeks.”_

_Sorry what? Kimi looked confused at him, unable to process what he'd just been told._

_“I'm sorry.. what did you just fucking say to me?” He sneered, rage starting to bubble up inside of him_

_Sebastian held his hands up in surrender, “Now just calm down, okay? I asked Hanna to marry me over Christmas , ok? We're getting married and I wasn't going to tell you but I felt really guilty. So...”_

_Kimi was definitely a bit drunk by this point, and he didn't know if it was the drink or the shit race that made him act like such an asshole. Standing up, he rushed over to Sebastian and pulled him roughly against him._

_Their teeth clashed horribly when their mouths connected with each others and Kimi wasn't being gentle with him either, hands fisting into his golden curls and pulling hard, forcing his head to snap back._

_He attacked Sebastian's long, slender neck with such ferocity he wasn't sure what had overcome him. He bit hard, licking and sucking to cause bruises as Sebastian keened with pleasure above him, begging him for more._

_When he fucked him, it was the roughest Kimi had ever been with him and Sebastian took it. Perhaps he thought that he needed to be punished- from keeping the truth from Kimi, for still falling back into his old vices before he married the mother of his children._

_Kimi still loved him, he realised as he thrust hard into Sebastian, enjoying his loud moans as the young er man bucked up into thin air, looking for any sort of friction to help him get off. By the end, Sebastian was begging for him to touch him, to let him come. Eventually as Kimi pulled one off his hands off his hips to jerk Seb off, he noted that there was a bright red hand print there, that would leave a bruise and some sick part of him liked that he'd marked him this way._

_With a scream of his name, Sebastian had come undone and with a low groan Kimi followed him. As he tied off the condom and threw it in the bin he realised he was sobbing. He hid his face from Sebastian as he furiously tried to scrub the tears away, but it was too late. The German was reaching for him, to comfort him._

_No, Kimi had thought, that was it. The last time. He shrugged away from him and hurriedly pulled on his clothes again._

_“Kimi what-”_

_“Don't. Sebastian. Don't.” Kimi had said, unable to even look at him. “This is your fault you know. You made me do that and I hate you for it.”_

_Sebastian let out a noise of hurt, “Kimi.... please.”_

_“Do you even care?!” Kimi cried, unable to stop the flow of tears from streaming out of his eyes. “Why didn't you tell me before you asshole!”_

_“Kimi, stop it- please!” Sebastian shouted, “I didn't want to hurt you...”_

_“I'm not a piece of fucking glass Sebastian!” Kimi prayed these hotel rooms were soundproofed. “You told me- You always said that you were never going to get married.”_

_Seb shrugged, looking very annoyed now. “We've changed, we decided- look it doesn't matter what we decided! Did you just expect me to wait my whole life for you?! You're so selfish sometimes Kimi...”_

_“I love you, you fucking idiot!” Kimi screamed, “And I don't want to let you go...”_

_Sebastian's mouth had fell open in shock and Kimi had frozen, not meaning to have said that._

_“Kimi I'm sorry... I didn't know you still-”_

_"That was the last fucking time.” Kimi spat, finally turning to look at him, lying naked in the bed. _ _Naked, bruised and tears streaming down his cheeks. “You're not even worth my time any more. You just use me whenever you bloody want and I'm finished with it. No more ok?!”_

_Sebastian had cried and begged him not to go, to not leave things like this. But Kimi had ignored him, he loved this man and he had to let him go before he broke him more than he'd already had._

* * *

He woke up to a white blinding light coming from the sky in the morning, the wind roaring through the sky scrapers and below he could see the destruction in the streets as bit of plants, trees and rubbish had been blown inland and into the city streets. He checked the time as he texted mark asking him if he wanted to have breakfast together.

Down in the breakfast hall, F1 personnel were everywhere, so he and Mark chose a table near Beat and some of the other Alfa Romeo team members. He ignored the Ferrari staff who approached them and didn't dare look around in case he saw Seb.

He was so bored by the time lunch rolled around, his internet had been a bit sporadic with the weather so he hadn't been able to get a good enough connection to Facetime his family. Mark suggested that he hit the indoor pool or go to the gym- which sounded good to him, and considering he hated exercise, he decided he really was bored.

The gym was bustling with drivers and crew alike, in the corner, he spotted a very green looking Charles Leclerc walking on a treadmill and decided to go and say hello.

“How you feeling?” He asked, grinning as the young boy glared at him.

“I feel like death and Andrea is making me fucking work out as a punishment for drinking so much last night.” Charles snapped, breathing deeply through his nose as what looked like another wave of nausea hit him.

Nodding sympathetically, Kimi patted his back. “Yeah, trainers are such slave drivers. But kid, next time... don't drink what you know you can't handle during a racing weekend.”

Charles glared at him once more, “Don't you start- how come you aren't even slightly affected? I mean- no offence you do look like shit but not hung over shit..”

Kimi snorted, slapping him on the upside of the head, “Jerkoff.” He muttered. “I just have a high tolerance that's all. But seriously, don't make the same mistakes I did kid... drinking too much whilst your trying to win seriously is a bad idea.”

Charles hummed and let him get on with his own workout. Kimi for once enjoyed it- it felt good to put his anger into somewhere and to run hard and fast on the treadmill to try and outrun the humiliation he felt last night when Sebastian kicked him out of his room.

After the gym, he finally gave into Lando Norris' puppy dog eyes and endless begging and agreed to play some video games with him and the boys. He liked the kid a lot but he didn't understand why he admired someone like him when his personality was so different from his own.

It reminded him of Sebastian a little.

He was just about to finish playing his last game against Max when Charles came into the room with Sebastian in tow. Kimi felt like he couldn't breathe and he's sure that his cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment. He just hoped that the younger drivers were too involved in their games to notice any tensions between him and Sebastian.

They didn't speak at all, except the customary hello and a shake of hands. If the younger kids noticed anything weird going on they didn't say anything, which he liked. He waited another 15 minutes after the Ferrari teammates arrived before he gave his excuses to leave. He was just about to step into the lift when a voice calls out to stop him.

They didn't speak at all, except the customary hello and a shake of hands. If the younger kids noticed anything weird going on they didn't say anything, which he liked. He waited another 15 minutes after the Ferrari teammates arrived before he gave his excuses to leave. He was just about to step into the lift when a voice calls out to stop him.

“Kimi!” Sebastian called.

Ignoring him, he walks into the lift, pushing the close doors buttons twice. He's about to sigh in relief as the doors start shutting but he's brought back down to earth when a hand sticks itself in between the two doors and nearly crushes them.

“Agh!” Sebastian yelps, as Kimi quickly rushes over to the open doors button and hits it a few times, pulling Sebastian into the lift with him.

He shoves him over to the other corner in the elevator. “Are you fucking stupid, Sebastian? You could've seriously injured yourself.”

Sebastian grins cheekily at him, massaging his hand. “Well I didn't, did I?”

Kimi can't help but smile and shake his head. “Idiot.” he mutters affectionately.

Sebastian's beaming smile makes his chest feel warm and instantly the smile falls from his face as he tries to get rid of these emotions. 

“Kimi...” Sebastian begins, “I'd like to speak to you please.”

His gold wedding band catches the light and the glinting reflection hits Kimi's eyes and it kills the warmth in his chest dead. “What is it?”

“Look about last night...”

“I'm sorry Sebastian.” He whispers, the humiliation flooding back as he scratches the back of his neck.

“No, _I'm_ sorry. I was being a little shit and I would blame it on the alcohol but I didn't even drink that much.”

Sebastian comes closer to him and their shoulders are nearly brushing as the lift comes to a halt at his floor. “Come and watch a movie with me?”

Kimi walks out the lift behind him, “I'm sorry what? We can't go outside...”

Sebastian smiled at him, laughing a little. “In my room? Look, I don't know about you but I'm so bored. So how about we watch a movie, we can get room service too? Just like the old days...?”

Kimi thinks about it for a moment, so Sebastian wasn't angry about last night's kiss? And he wanted to spend time with him like they used to? So, he agrees and as they walk to his room, Kimi has to quell the spark of hope he feels in his chest. Nothing's going to happen, it's just a film, he chants over and over again in his head.

They settle on a classic movie, only because Kimi refuses to watch Monty Python again. They order room service and even treat themselves to dessert and it's nice. Kimi's missed this- just hanging out with Sebastian, away from the media and judgemental eyes. He's missed his smile and childish laugh that makes his eyes and nose scrunch up, so he looks like a rabbit.

Everything is going fine until the end credits role and _their_ song starts playing and Kimi can barely breathe as Tony Bennett croons about the way you look tonight. He decides that he has to leave before he has a panic attack or dies from lack of oxygen. He thinks he's so pathetic how he finds a song so triggering while Sebastian is staying silent, probably because he doesn't even realise its significance.

He gets up, plucking up the courage to turn and face him, “Okay, I better go it's late. Sebas-”

He stops and stares open mouthed at the figure on the bed, he cannot believe it. As Tony Bennett continues to sing, Sebastian is sitting there silently crying, big fat tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Sebastian...” Kimi starts, voice strangled. “Are you okay?”

Sebastian sits looking dejected and shakes his head, “No...This is- it's _our _song Kimi... Remember?”

Kimi has to swallow the lump in his throat as he nods slowly. “How could I forget?”

Sebastian gives him a watery smile and laughs, getting up and holding his hand out to Kimi.

Unsure, Kimi takes it and lets Sebastian envelope him in his embrace as they sway slowly to the song, remembering how they'd danced like this after their first official date because it was Kimi's favourite song, ever since he seen his parents dancing to it when he was 6 years old.

Sebastian's sobs gradually slow as the song finishes up and he tucks his face into the crook of Kimi's neck, sniffling softly against the skin there. Kimi savours it, holding him tight and breathing in the scent of his shampoo before he has to let him go again.

He's about to start pulling away when Sebastian whimpers softly, “Please. Don't go.”

Kimi sighs and is about to give in when he remembers what happened last night. “I have to Sebastian. You don't want this... not really.”

He tries to unfurl his hands from the front of his t-shirt but Sebastian grip is iron tight, pulling him back closer to him. “Screw you, I know what I want.”

“Oh yeah?” Kimi snaps, remembering the previous night, “So why'd you push me away last night.”

He shoves Sebastian away from him, turning again for the door.

He's opening the door when Sebastian runs up behind him and slams it shut again. “Hey! That's not fair- you're the one that ended this shit. How was I supposed to feel when you suddenly, drunkenly come back onto me again!”

Kimi spun around to face him again, feeling hot with rage. “Bull Shit. I wasn't even drunk.”

“Yeah?!” Seb shouts, his face right up in Kimi's.

“Yeah!” He yells back, so close he can feel the quick rise and fall of Sebastian's chest against his and then, just like that... they're kissing.

It's desperate, hard and sloppy. They press their mouths hard together, kissing like they're teenagers who've never kissed before. Kimi clutches at every part of Sebastian that he can, wincing as Sebastian's blunt nails pull down the backs of his arms, holding him closer to him.

Eventually, they have to pull back for air and they're both panting hard, but Kimi doesn't mind when Sebastian stares up at him with a smile like that. Brushing a curl out of his face, Kimi smiles crookedly at him, thumb brushing over those soft, bruised lips and he can't help himself but lean in and lick them tentatively, holding in a moan.

He holds tightly onto the sides of Seb's face as he licks languidly into his pliable mouth, swallowing all his little pants and moans of pleasure that only fuel his own. He pulls them both towards the bed and lies back. Sebastian sighs with happiness, letting his body fall onto Kimi's as his mouth opens wider, drawing him further and further in, consuming him.

God he's fucking missed this, he thinks to himself and Sebastian's hips ground down against him, and holy shit he's already half hard.

“Fuck Sebastian. Agh” He can't help but cry out as he lets his head fall back and Sebastian starts kissing and biting at the sensitive spot just under his ear, panting, canting his hips up towards Sebastian's.

“Please Kimi...” Sebastian whimpers again, hands sliding up beneath his shirt and Kimi can't help but flinch at the foreign object that's cold against his skin.

Ignoring it, he sits up and rearranges Sebastian onto his lap, and pulling his shirt over his head and pressing kisses to his chest, groaning at how hot and salty Sebastian's skin tastes under his tongue. He traces over Sebastian's right nipple with his tongue, grinning when Sebastian's body jerks in pleasure.

“What do you want baby?” He whispers up to him, still lavishing his chest in attention.

Sebastian lets out a high keen above him, clutching hard at his shoulders and pressing his crotch forward. Kimi takes the opportunity to cup Sebastian's jean clad erection in his hand, and rubs him hard through the rough denim, humming when Sebastian pushes harder up into his hand.

“Tell me.” He whispers, removing his hands from him and making him stand up. Sebastian looks like he's about to start begging again when Kimi starts to pull off his jeans, unbuttoning them slowly, before sliding them down his legs, nose very close to his crotch. Sebastian groans because he can feel his breath on him.

“Please Kimi... I want-want you to fuck me. Please” He finally whimpers pulling at Kimi's jeans himself, sliding his hands inside to grope at his boxer clad ass. Kimi lets out a low growl from deep in his throat, feeling Sebastian's wedding band leave a burning trail against his skin.

“Have you got any lube?” Kimi asks, pulling off both their briefs and sliding up the bed until his back is against the headboard. Sebastian nods dumbly, “Where?”

He motions to his bedside table, and Kimi smirks. “Naughty boy- what's it doing here? Have you been using it?”

Sebastian moans and nods, hand working over his shaft in quick, sharp motions. Kimi retrieves it from the drawer and pops the cap open.

“Do you want to open yourself up or do you want me to do it?”

“You” Sebastian whispers, crawling up the bed to straddle his waist, moaning as he feels Kimi's hard on pressing against his ass.

Kimi lets out a shaky breath at the feeling and nods, coating his fingers in the stuff. “It'll be easier if you lie down Sebastian.”

Sebastian nods and gets on all fours besides him, legs spread waiting for the intrusion of Kimi's fingers. Kimi opens him slowly, taking his time and using long scissoring strokes to work him open. He drinks in every single one of Sebastian's noises, his own hardness now throbbing in anticipation as he watches Sebastian's hands twisting in the bedsheets with pleasure.

Eventually, Sebastian thinks he's ready enough and asks to ride him. Kimi nods, mouth watering at the thought of it, rolling back over to sit against the headboard- they hadn't done that in a long time.

“Have you got a condom?” He asks the German, rubbing his thighs soothingly as he straddles him, Kimi's cock inches from Sebastian's waiting hole.

Sebastian bites his lip and shakes his head. “No shit, do you?”

Kimi sighs, disappointed. “No, sorry.”

He's about to push him away when Sebastian pulls him closer once again, hovering over his erection. “Don't care,” He whispers, looking straight into Kimi's eyes, “If you're okay with it then I want you just to fuck me like this.”

Kimi lets out a strangled noise as Sebastian grips his hard dick in his hand and guides it slowly into his warm, wet heat and it's so tight, Kimi can't help jerking his hips up quickly. Sebastian flinches a bit, but doesn't pull away from him.

Once he's in up to the hilt, Sebastian takes a couple of moments to adjust, kissing Kimi softly before he slowly starts to ride him.

"Ugh shit Kimi,” He pants, forehead pressed to Kimi's, “I feel so full, so good.”

Kimi smiles softly and peppers his collarbone with kisses, savouring the feeling of Sebastian wrapped around him again. He begins to start thrusting back, guiding Sebastian's hips with his hands, pulling him up before he pulls him back down onto his cock as he thrusts up into him.

Sebastian groans again, throwing his head back and his hands come up, raking his nails through Kimi's short hair. Kimi feels it again, the cold metal pressing into the side of his head, burning him and it makes him falter a little, losing his rhythm.

Sebastian takes it as a signal to still himself from bouncing up and down. “Something wrong?” He asks innocently, unknowingly clenching around Kimi's hardness. Kimi shakes his head, too embarrassed to say what's putting him off. Instead he pulls out of Sebastian and lifts him so that he's laying down on his back. Sebastian whimpers at the loss of the sensation but Kimi hushes him with a kiss, tongue running over his teeth.

He pulls Sebastian's legs up, hooking his arms under his knees, pushing them up and he tells Sebastian to get a pillow under his hips. With the better angle, he re-enters Sebastian with a low growl and begin fucking him again in earnest.

He sets a punishing pace as he thrusts in deeper and harder than before, letting the sounds of Sebastian's cries wash over him, as he changes the angle to find his prostate.

“Fucking hell- Kimi!” Sebastian cries out, one hand fisted hard in the bed sheet as the other one holds onto the hand Kimi has on his hipbone. Kimi grins, as he keeps hitting him at that angle, enjoying Sebastian fluttering around him.

He's enjoying it, yeah it feels fucking amazing but as he lets go of his legs to allow them to wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper, Sebastian's left hand clutches his own, slotting their fingers together as he pulls Kimi up to kiss him. And once again, that god damn ring feels so wrong as it digs into Kimi's right hand, burning him as it's pressed deeper and deeper into his skin.

“ 'm close Kimi-” Sebastian whimpers against his lips, and he hums. He's still got a bit to go he thinks and he glances over to their hands- unable to take it any more. He slows down his thrusting a little, silencing Sebastian's question look with a quick glare.

Slowly he brings their intertwined hands up to his mouth and works his fingers free so they can grip onto Seb's wrist. Still thrusting shallowly, he wraps his mouth around Sebastian's ring finger and sucks on it, working his wedding band free with his tongue.

Even in his mouth it burns and feels like it is going to burn a hole through his tongue- it tastes of metal and Sebastian. He cannot glance at Sebastian, he feels so ashamed. He silently spits it out and places it on the bedside table and turns back to Sebastian, twinning their fingers back together.

Sebastian says nothing, but gives him a small smile of understanding and pulls him up into a wet kiss, pressing his heels into the small of Kimi's back to remind him that he's stopped thrusting.

Kimi smiles into the kiss and pulls out nearly all the way before throwing his weight forward into Sebastian, grinning at the guttural squeal it drags from his friends throat. He feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and Seb's hands no longer roam with an unpleasant burn.

He's slamming into Sebastian with enough force that his head is bouncing off the headboard and he starts to chant Kimi's name, the volume in crescendo and Kimi knows he's going to come soon. He pulls his hand away from Sebastian to wrap it around his hot shaft that's so slick with pre-come and then Sebastian is coming hard. Kimi groans in fascination as his come coats his hand and with a small smile he looks into Sebastian's eyes, which are looking back at him softly.

He doesn't say I love you to him, Sebastian has never said it to Kimi. But now, Kimi can see it's in his eyes, as they smile down at him- he loves him and Kimi loves him too. Then he's falling hard, Sebastian's sphincter pulsing hard around him, moaning loudly, “Sebbb” as he thrusts himself through the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Overly sensitive, Sebastian bits his lips hard as Kimi pulls out of him, shivering at the sensation of Kimi's come slowly start to seep out. He wrinkles his nose in displeasure before he excuses himself to the bathroom. Kimi lies back on the bed, arms and legs spread starfish as his breathing and heartbeat start to slow down.

Sebastian comes back with a wet wash cloth and throws it at him and it lands with a wet smack on his chest. “Thanks Sebastian.”

“Don't mention it, least I could do.” Sebastian watches him as he cleans himself up and pulls his boxer briefs back on.

“You'll stay won't you?” He asks, laying a hand on Kimi's shoulder and pulling him back against his chest.

“I shouldn't Seb,” He sighs, leaning back as Sebastian presses soft kisses to along his spine. “The race tomorrow... we have to be up early.”

Sebastian hums, “It's fine- I'll wake you, don't worry,” He grasps Kimi's jaw and tilts it to face him, pressing sweet kisses to his mouth, over and over again.

“Fine.” Kimi eventually sighs, pulling him close to him and sighing against his mouth in defeat. Sebastian let's out a small cheer and immediately tells him that he has to cuddle him tonight.

He laughs but agrees to be the little spoon none the less and they settle down to sleep.

* * *

It's 1 am and his wedding ring burns into him from its spot on the bedside table, glinting as though its gazing back. Outside the only sounds are the wind screaming and the heavy rain drilling into the window like bullets. Besides him the younger man lays sound asleep, softly snoring with his limbs curled around him and his chest pressed tight against his back. Kimi lets out a small sigh of content as Seb lets out a small puff of air against the nape of his neck, and he cannot help but lay further back into his embrace, letting his head fall back against his.

He looks past the bedside table to the large glass window that shows the intense typhoon outside and shivers as he sees some of the tall buildings slightly rocking in the hurricane winds. The night is as restless as his soul feels, he ironically thinks this is like one of those moments in films when the horrible weather reflects the feelings of the protagonists...

He almost wonders why he cannot sleep, he knows that tomorrow will be hard, a very long day, exhausting enough with a good nights sleep, yet he lays here awake.

He wonders if it is the guilt that is keeping him up; the burning ring reminding him of the vows he helped break, how he guided the soft hands now twined with his own to commit adultery. He glances down to his own wedding band, sitting pretty on his finger, a warm and heavy weight that he now feels naked without. He wonders if he feels naked without his golden ring on his finger. Had he already gotten used to always feeling of it on his finger yet, or was it still too fresh?

Or is it simply because he doesn't want it to be over? After so many months of resisting then finally giving into temptation and falling back over the edge, as they'd done many times before... But was that the last time? For real now? He was scared to fall asleep because he stupidly loved this man, more than he should, considering they were both married and no longer the young men they used to be. He didn't want to let him go, for this to be over- even though they'd said countless times before that it was the last time.

He's still staring at it when Sebastian stirs besides him, “Hey..” He whispers, turning Kimi to face him, and kisses him softly. “What's wrong you should be sleeping, is it the storm?”

Kimi shakes his head, unable to look into his eyes but hides his face in the crook of his neck. Pressing butterfly kisses there.

“Hey,” Sebastian says again, “I can't help you if you don't tell me what wrong.”

Kimi sighs and hugs him close, he's afraid. Afraid to ask him, afraid that he's being selfish again. So they sit in silence for a while, Sebastian holding him close, soothing him and rubbing his hand up and down his back.

“It's different,” He quietly confesses, “Now your married...”

Sebastian says nothing for a moment before he replies, “Yes. Especially after the first time since...”

He hums, “How did you deal with it?” Kimi whispers quietly into his neck.

Sebastian pulls away slightly so he can see his face, “Deal with what Kimi?”

Kimi blushes, feeling stupid. “The ring...”

“What?”

“It makes me feel so guilty and it burns me...” Kimi says shyly, hoping Seb won't tease. “It burns my skin when you touch me with it and I feel like it's watching me from the bedside table.”

Sebastian laughs softly but stops when Kimi shoves him a little. “That's what this is all about? Sorry Kimi, it's just....”

Yanking back the covers and leaning over him, Sebastian takes the wedding band off the bedside table and puts it somewhere in his rucksack he takes to the track in the morning. Hiding it from Kimi, so it's no longer burning into him.

“Thank you Seb,” he whispers watching as the German stretches for a moment. “So what did you do? When I got married?”

Seb clears his throat before climbing back into the warm bed. “Well, I don't know... I guess I just accepted the fact that you were no longer only mines and that one day we'd eventually have to stop this forever.”

Kimi shudders and feels tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, “Don't say that...”

Denial was always something he'd struggled with in his whole life, he never wanted to accept when things were over: his first marriage; his career at Ferrari; his relationship with his father....

Sebastian hums, smoothing down his hair like a child and presses a kiss to his forehead, “Shh, don't cry.” he comforts him as he beings to sniff. “I mean physically... You'll always be with me, in my heart as a part of me.”

Smiling, Kimi's hand curls around the nape of his neck, fisting at the curls lying there and pull him down to kiss him, long and slowly. Once they break away for air, Sebastian finally answers his question.

“As for the ring, it never stops burning you... But you get used to it.”

The next day, they're all bundled onto a flat bed truck as the rain lightly sprinkles down on them, for the drivers parade. Antonio is standing with him and Sebastian as they make their tour of the circuit. He watches him and Seb together and he can't help wonder if Antonio knows that he is Sebastian's favourite child.

Charles had been standing with them but then decided that him and Sebastian were giving off weird vibes that made him feel like he was 'watching his parents flirt in public' and had went to go an talk to Max. He's enjoying teasing Antonio about something when he feels a tap on the shoulder and he turns to the see the Sky crew and rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses.

Natalie goes to ask him if she can speak with him but he just nods, he actually likes her, so he'll let her talk to him a little.

“So what did you do with your day off?” Natalie Pinkham asks him.

Kimi shrugs, smirking as Sebastian catches his eye, listening in to the conversation. “Not much..."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope some of you like this fic! Please feel free to leave me any thoughts, criticism and what not. Kudos are also really appreciated! Thanks :) :)


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